curtains drawn
Music: techno stuff
Hm well my first post in ages haha. Anyway i dont really know what to say abt this latest one haha. Looking back on the whole year it's been...quite something. I've learnt so much about myself but at the same time it's drained me to the point where i was collapsing. Anger, disappointment, despair, hopelessness, sadness, abandoned, wasted, you name it, i've gone through it. Pressure, decisions, lack of support, red tape, and so on...nothing new by now. But it's also given me joy, happiness, respect, friendships to last a lifetime, trust, humour, patience, perseverence, and so much else. At the end of the day, it's been worth the ride though it's the roughest one i've ridden on yet. I learnt how to appreciate small things, how to be patient with people and red tape, how to keep supporting others no matter how they treat you, how to take criticism, how to keep plugging at it even though things change every other day, how to find joy in total shit, how to live my life with integrity, how to earn trust and respect, how to live my life.
It's been a long, long ride. And now it's drawing to a close. A stuttering, ugly end, like a problem filled car which travelled for wayy too long. And the passengers are all tired and trying to get out of the ride, whereas the driver had long given up the ride. Me? I'm tired too. How can I not be. I just feel...lost. Like, where should we drive on from here. The answer? There is no road left for us to ride on anymore. And that's that. And I dno what to do i guess. I dont even feel much anymore.
But no matter what i just cant let it go like that. That'd just be a total waste. One more try to hammer out something. We'll see. And of course even after this the journey's still not necessarily over. For me I know it's not over. It's just be a ride on a different car with less people towards a different place. And life goes on.
till then, one last time. bring it on.
smile like you mean it
Music: FongyiCHAO! (nvm if you dont get it =P)
Hmm k promo results weren't too bad, could have done better but well at least I improved. hmm yeah. Anyway lets move on to other more interesting stuff like what to do for the hols =P Been more or less slacking the post-promos days away, doing stuff like getting owned upside down at pool or stoning or some shit like that. In fact can't really remember anything very significant =/Still got loads of EOY stuff and all that to do. Ah well. Anyway stuff I wanna do for hols right after I get back from Vietnam, which leaves me with one month for my hols:
1. MUG! I think. I hope.
2. Kayaking:
-Go around Ubin
-Go somewhere other than Ubin
-Rough weather kayaking?
-Kayak fishing!!! XD
-Eskimo roll? =P
3.Cycling:
-Try out Ketam Bike Park @ Ubin
-Try out Kent Ridge?
-Learn how to wheelie?
-Practise hopping over obstacles
-Free hand?
-Greater control with one hand
4. ODAC stuff
5. Health & Fitness:
-Run 18km w/o stop
-Sub-nine?
-Swim
-Look for some adventure race?
-Follow some PT routine
-err grow bigger biceps?><
6. Rockclimbing:
-Climb all the SAFRA walls w/o letting go
-Try the harder 25m walls?
-learn proper techniques =/
7. Happy times spent with friends =)
8. Cooking:
-Learn how to bake stuff like cookies?
-Go beyond stir frying ><
-Learn how to manage kitchen better instead of ending up in a mess
-Knife skills. lol.
-Start learning stuff from the web
-Better pasta. no more creamy pasta where cream is self-produced =P
-Lagsana!
-Soup!
-Try the set-the-pan-on-fire thingy that looks damn cool. Eh I did before ok! just that it was totall unintended and quite dangerous lol.
-...and whatever else needed so that i can survive being home alone for 2 weeks
hmm lets see how it goes =) oh ya ARSENAL7-0 slavia prague! :)
life is good!
Music: On the side of me by Corrine May
mm corrine may is pretty good you know. Anyway why the hell am I blogging now? Well I don't really know but I almost ggxx just now. Maybe not die but heavily injured.
Was cycling to get my family some dinner, and one thing you have to know first is that I live on a hill. The road downhill goes about 100m+, then it comes to this X- junction. So I was cycling downhill and applying my brakes but still going rather fast, whenI saw this MPV coming uphill. I was still qutie a distance away from the X junction so I slowed down a bit. But it didn't turn on it's turning lights (the yellow one) so I thought it was going straight (in the opposite direction of me) which would mean that I'll be safe. So I went accross the X junction, and then the car suddenly turned.
Man I almost bloody died. The driver didn't see me at all and didn't turn his light on so I was seriously damn shocked when i saw this massive MPV turning right towards me. Lucky I didn't panick and brake, else I'd definitely get banged (you definitely don't wanna get banged this way); nor swerve suddenly cos that'd be rather ggxx as well. So just turned a bit, enough to give a tiny bit of distance more and that prob saved me from any serious damage.
So I turned a bit, and was really hoping for the best then bam the car whacked my rear tyre. Freaking scary I tell you. It was barely like half a metre away. Somehow I managed to control the bike and didn't suffer any damage but it was one heck of an experience. A bit like guang getting knocked down and getting 50 bucks from the driver, except mine was much less dramatic, I didn't manage to fly in the air and I actually became poorer cos I kinda lost a fifty cent coin from the crash (I think it fell out of my pocket). Oh and I got scolded by the angmoh uncle too. 'Why don't have front lights?!' I should have said sth like can I borrow yours since you aren't using it but well that wouldn't have helped would it.
Ah anyway all the best for promos! Back to H1 econs *($(@^*#$^
how do I breathe
Music: How do I breathe by Mario
mm mugging at NTU library is quite useful. but somehow dont think I'm gonna do too well for promos >< kinda not enough time. Ah well.
Anyway lets stop thinking abt promos for a while and what I'm gonna do for myself after CTs! Here goes:
-Revamp my wardrobe. As of now, the number of Bibi Baba clothes are at least 2 times more than my civvies. Dont really think it's gonna happen though, considering my fashion sense.
-Change my *$&^$%#& hairstyle! Again, not very likely to happen. Maybe botak for once..?
-Kayak around ubin in a 2 seater kayak with seth :) heck why not make it 1 seater then he can sit on top of me la.
-Play pool! I kinda miss playing with sticks and balls. and holes.
-Play soccer! I think I'm addicted to ball games.
-Go rockclimbing! Maybe I should go climb seth's rock instead =P
-Get myself a new bag. It kinda gets tiring having the mend every once in a while, and walking around with one shoulder strap/a hole at the bottom/ whatever.
-Get myself a good outdoor bag!
mm sounds good. As of now though it's back to mugging. all the best for promos everyone :)
yup!
Music: Say Goodbye - Chris Brown
Wow opened up the newpaper today and guess what I saw.
'Chock-a-block with troubles'- and it went on to describe the problems that this block has. Murders, drugs, gangs, loansharks, etc etc. Block 90, Pipit Road.
Across the carpark, is Macpherson Moral Family Service Centre. Yup the place where i volunteered for about a year or so. I cross Block 90 everytime I went for CIP; I'll take the bus from Aljunied, get off, cross the road, go under the void deck of block 90, then go for Sports Club with smiling kids and having a totally fun time.
This article made me think a lot. Especially when it talked about school students buying contraband cigarettes and drugs and stuff. Of course I started thinking about all those kids we interacted with last year. And of course I thought of the time when this group of secondary school paikias harassed us. And I really wonder whether our kids would grow up to be like that. I really hope not.
I'd always known that that area was low income and had all kinds of troubles but Id dint know it was this bad. Now I really wanna go back there and teach the kids again-make sure they stay out of trouble and all. And that they don't grow up to be like that. I really, really loved them now that I think of it. Truly.
Anyway school tmr! Somehow I just find school quite fun now. First chem remedial lesson tmr! Must appreciate things in life, I guess =P cya all tmr!
...and it did, because of me
Music: Do You Know by Enrique Iglesias, Konstantine by Something Corporate
It's been a long long time since I lasted posted haha. Well didnt really feel the need to blog so ya. Anyway CTs were quite zzz could have done much, much better. Should have. ah well. ODAC's quite sad cos it's winding down and training is now cut down to once a week. sigh. No choice though, I guess I'll just have to not waste that extra time and mug for promos. Still it's kinda sad, 1 training per week. Hopefully we'll come out refreshed after promos and all damn enthu for EOY.
I realised EOY's gonna be dman impt. No JEX, No AEX, basically we've got nothing. Which makes EOY damn impt. I dont care if there's one thing I must do this year it's to get EOY right. ODAC has given me so much; if there's anything I can do to pay her back it'll be to get EOY right. I know things are slowing down but I'm still hoping we wont just pack up and give up. No way.
CIP's been going great. Both IMH and class. Getting to know people better, which is always great. I really miss last years MMFSC though. It's just not the same as last year; I guess it's cos I dont have the time to hardcore sth like that again. Man but last year's CIP was just plain wonderful. It was probably the best community work I'd ever done. Really, really made a difference and made me much closer to lots of people too. Got to know how bloody nice Mrs Low (err no not the meiosis mitosis one) was. When I heard I received some founder's award I was damn shocked cos I couldn't remember having done anything imba and all the other founder's day award winners were some imba like all the Liqians with 8 prizes and all. I was just damn honoured and I dno appreciative cos she actually remembered me doing all that.
mm the rain outside's damn nice. Makes everything feel much cooler and somehow makes me more relaxed, just stoning and staring out of the window and music in my ears and err chem notes on my desk. Good time to think about stuff. Haven't had time to think long and deep about stuff...it's been one big rush for CCA, CIP, HW, and all that. dno lah nowadays I've been feeling damn tired. Not the physical kind but the mental one where I just feel damn sluggish. And emotional too. I'm not too sure why too but I guess I'll sort myself out. Stressed about things that I shouldn't be and getting worried about the very things that make me happy. Don't get me wrong I'm still damn happy about the way things are going, it's serious fun and all but just thinking about stuff that's troubling me now.
But despite all that life now is just great. Of course there are times when I feel down and tired and screwed up in general but coping well I guess. Really enjoying stuff as it is now. Term 3 will be damn hardcore but well hopefully I'll make it through =P
oh and on a side note Konstantine's a really beautiful song :) cya all around in school!
Alright!
Music: Sound of Settling by DCFC
Just got into an accident. Got rear ended by a truck and the boot got smashed. Luckily everyone's ok. The most amazing thing was after the truck banged into us, it reversed, and drove off. haha I think my mum was damn shocked.
I was quite ok cos I've been in accident before. But my mum was quite freaked. I think my brother wa squite scared but he carried himself damn well. Never realised he was quite muddled up until we reached home. Anyway the best thing is that everyone's fine. How many people can say that after getting rammed by a truck? Damn lucky lah.
I was thinking about the Indian/Bangladeshi worker that was driving the truck. Actually I feel damn sad for him. Imagine coming to Singapore all the way from India, only to bang into some car accidentally. Then you have a split second to decide: stay? run? You're in a muddle and you have no idea what to do, so you run. In that moment you just decided your fate for the next few years. Either bankruptcy or jail (hit and run is quite severe in S'pore, I think). It's quite sad cos in that moment you just screwed your life up. How 1 second can screw up all your plans.
Hm. kk enough critical thinking for today. Anyway RJC has been one great great great experience till now! I enjoy every single day in school, though there are shitty times like er, failing chem & physics. lala. Anyway cya all around! :)
